By Chris Morley
Having promised Virginia the ride of a lifetime, the Professor was a little disappointed when it ended far too quickly.
‘ Sorry, Willie’ she apologised. ‘ I do understand, you like to give your instruments a run-through once in a while’.
Putting on his top hat, frilly shirt & cravat, Tiney-Danglers harrumphed. ‘ How many times has it been, Ginny?’ he said. ‘ You’d think that just once I might be able to finish the job without interruption, hmm?’
‘ As I said, I’m sorry!’ she huffed. With a sound like a low moan, the SEX Machine materialised in the middle of a field. A foppish toff was peering at some comely young ladies as he hunted a boar.
‘ If he’s not careful, that twerp’s going to come a cropper.’ laughed Ginny’s elderly guide & mentor.
‘ That twerp, you uncharitable old whatname, is Piers, Viscount Montmorency!’ snapped Virginia. ‘ I took ballet classes with him, remember?’.
‘ Yes, yes, its all coming back to me now…’ recalled William. ‘ Sorry, my dear! Time-lag does terrible things to a man, above & below stairs…’ he muttered.
‘ Such things would appear to explain a lot!’ laughed his good lady. ‘ Ah, my dear Virginia- where would I be without you? Mostly incredibly frustrated…’.
But she cut him off before he could finish. ‘ Yes, yes, calm yourself, Willie! We all know the story of how you interrupted my ladies’ cricket team’s first match with your sticky wicket, promising me the world..but now we’ve got a Regency fop to save!’
‘ Or have we? It appears he’s carrying the Hammer Of The Gods! Or could it just be a bulge in his trousers… I say, we could well have ventured too far back and now find ourselves in some reality based on Norse myth- perhaps we can persuade Thor over there to whack some sense into old Piers.’ said a gleeful William.
‘ But if we do so, we could be breaking the First Law of Bodice-Ripping! He’s supposed to reject the sister he’s engaged to and run off into the sunset with the one he really likes, as is the rule here.’ interjected Ginny. ‘ Besides, he’s getting a frightful wallop in a minute- let’s get into position to help him change the future, and use his Hammer as it was always meant to be.’ she added, winking.